My Garden

It's my birthday tomorrow- but John took me out a day early to buy flowers for my garden.  His gift to me.  It doesn't take much to blow a budget on flowers (and ironically, dirt-- which is even more expensive), so I tried to focus on perennials that will come up year after year... but in the end I came home with three annuals and two perennials.  It's a start.

There's so little, yet so much to choose from.  Most places around here sell the same old thing: petunias, impatiens, begonias and marigolds.  I'm not a fan of any of 'em.  We eventually found a nursery about a half hour from here with more variety.

Black-Eyed Susans

Joshua picked this one out.  I love geraniums.  They are so quaint.  My photography makes it ugly.

I looked everywhere for a Black-Eyed Susan Vine last year.  This year was more successful.

I was also excited to find Million Bell Petunias.  Though they are both a petunia and an annual, I do like these ones because the flowers are smaller and they bloom more profusely.  They flower all spring, all summer, and all fall.  

Some of my Four O'Clocks from last summer reseeded themselves and John transplanted them for me.

I didn't get a picture of the mini-geranium ground-cover-like flower.

I love dirt.  And flowers.  Growing things.  Being out in the sunshine.  Over time, I'd like me a big, big garden.  But that's my mini-start.

One of the most delightful things I get to witness as a mother is Joshua's personality unfolding.  I saw hints of it even in the first days and weeks of his life, but this year has been a big year for observing his heart.  Joshua is observant, thoughtful, hard-working and sweet.  He's also out-of-this-world curious, precise--wanting every thing his quirky little way, and determined.

He's also a perfectionist.  He compares everything he does with how John or I do it.  It's especially obvious when we're coloring at the table.  In the center of this picture, you can see his five attempts at making an eye.  Only one eye was to his satisfaction (the one that looks most like an eye!), and after four *failed* attempts, he scribbled over his picture in frustration.  "It's not right!"

His expectations are larger than his abilities.

We moved on to faces.  I drew the circles (heads), eyes and noses.  Joshua drew the mouths.  I thought they were great.  He thought they weren't good enough.  He threw it to the floor in frustration.  

He wanted me to draw another head, but I encouraged him try.  "It's not right either!" he wailed, when it did not turn out perfectly round like mine.  It took some convincing to get him to use it, but he finally drew an angry face.  Maybe it was an expression of his own feelings at that moment.

Perhaps he will be a famous artist.  My brother is already trying to find a way to market his artwork.  ^-^

It breaks my heart, though, to see him being so hard on himself.  He's only three!  A perfectionist will eventually find their imperfect self very difficult to live with.....though I suppose we all have a trace of perfectionism in some area of our lives.

He'll face much greater challenges in life as he grows older and I hope he can learn to channel his perfectionism in a positive direction.  I really don't know how to help make that happen.  There are moments when, as a parent, I feel downright helpless.  I'm so glad God guides me.  

10:26pm...

I almost didn't make it tonight and it's only day three.  My back is aching so bad- not because of the PGP but because I used muscles that haven't been used in months.  That makes it easy to deal with, but hard to blog...so I'm just here and then gone again.

Rona and Andre came over this evening and we spent nearly three hours in the backyard.  We talked, the boys played.  Perfect.  They left when it was dark.  I gave Joshua a warm bath to wash all the dirt away, bandaged his scrapes, read him some books while we cozied up on the bed, and now he's asleep.  I haven't even had dinner yet.  Time to make something before I curl up on the couch with a book.  It's been four years since I've been able to curl up on a couch, let alone even sit on one (not enough support)....it's been a wonderful spring full of small but steady progress, and there are some things I hope I never take for granted again.  I am filled right up with joy and thankfulness.

For 30 Days

In the spirit of developing a blog-habit, I thought I'd try to blog every day (except for weekends-- which I realize it is today) for the month of May.  I don't think I'll succeed with this as thoroughly as I'd like because my parents are coming to visit.  But if I always waited 'til my ducks were in a row, I'd never start anything.  Life is full of obstacles and I must learn to remain flexible and go with it, rather than trying to work around it.  It's all part of my developing-discipline-process.

So here I am, May 1st.  I could have waited for the weekend to end, but I definitely wanted to start on the first day of the month.  It feels more right.  Maybe that's because I'm odd.

A lot of my days are filled with nothing special.  At least, not blog-worthy special.  Just lots and lots of memories to tuck away in my own heart, "enjoying the moments," as one friend likes to say.  So...I may have to stretch my imagination a bit if I'm going to make this happen.  Bear with me through the mundane posts.  Or just don't read them.  For today, I've already done enough blabbering, but I'll add a few bits and pieces from the day.

We went to church with John's parents and out to lunch afterwards.  It was quite a hike out to their favourite restaurant but we didn't mind the drive through farmland and countryside.  After lunch, John's mom had arranged for the waitresses to bring me candle-decked Jello (it would have been cake under normal circumstances, but being gluten-free, one must make compromises), and sing happy birthday.  I quite forgot my birthday was around the corner.  At first, when I stared blankly at that cheery bowl of red jiggly goop, I thought, "Oops, they got the wrong table-- or at least the wrong person!!"  They were nearly through the song by the time I realized that my family was singing, too, and yes, this was indeed for me.  Having a restaurant serenade me for my birthday was a first for me.  (And hopefully a last.  I appreciate the kindness but shirk from the attention).

We didn't get home until five o'clock.  Our neighbor's daughter, a sweet teenage girl, was sitting outside when we walked up, holding her pet snake.  After assuring me that it was quite safe and non-poisonous, I swallowed by fear and tried to be a good mother, and let Joshua hold it.  I tell you, my heart was in my throat, especially when the neighbor's dog came tearing out the front door at that moment.  I thought for sure the snake would get scared and bite.  It didn't.  I took deep breaths, reminding myself that it was okay and Joshua is a B-O-Y and would do much worse before he reaches adulthood.  I am here to keep him safe, but not to be a hindrance to his bravery or adventurous spirit.

Speaking of Joshua, he's been my right-hand man these days.  I've been venturing out to the yard and doing some work as I'm able.  This is a small spring miracle.  Yesterday, I was out there for TWO hours and was pain-free when I finished.  When I say pain-free, I unfortunately do not mean PGP-free--but moving within my limitations, I did not flare things up.

Joshua stuck with me for an entire hour, putting all the weeds in the trash, helping me sweep, digging up soil-- oh, and playing with worms.  I laughed when I heard the words, "Joshua, why is there a dead worm on the table?" come from my mouth.  I definitely have a little boy on my hands.

Well, I've gone on long enough.  Not every day will be as wordy.  But here is the start of my 30 day goal!

Easter

Once again, we celebrated our risen Lord and Savior.  Each year, it's with more awe and thankfulness for the awesome God who gave His son and raised Him up on the third day.  It's the greatest thing we have to celebrate each year.

For our Easter dinner, we had my grandparents here.  It was quite accidental that they were here for that particular day, but we were glad for it.  I asked Grandpa if he wanted ham, turkey or roast beef and to my mingled dismay and excitement, he requested roast beef.  Until this past Easter, I had never cooked a roast beef in the oven.  Yes, you read that right.  I've always stuck to the safety of the crock pot--- not to mention, the conveniently low price of the lesser roasts that cook up nicely in said pot.

Well, I did it and successfully, too, thanks to a friend who, several years ago, told me how to do a roast "German-style" at 400*F.  Surprisingly, it was a moist and tender roast, even well-done.  Good gravy, too.  But I am not blogging to 'boast' of my roast beef dinner success.  I just wanted to pop on here and post a few pictures, both of Easter and of my grandparents visit.

I haven't been online much, lately.  I resolved at the beginning of the year that I would put some more discipline in my life, a character quality that I possess little of.  Being on the computer less and living life more is just one more step in that direction, though I'm considering blogging more often even if I do less of everything else.  A 'habit' of blogging couldn't be a bad thing in moderation, since this is, after all, my only form of journaling.  I'm not even going to TRY to add journaling to my list of disciplined activities.  I write way too much to keep up with pen and ink on a regular basis.  It's a time killer for me.

A picture of our Easter table after I discovered that my spring table cloth is missing-- yes, missing!  I searched high and low, as did John, and nada.  I have this vague memory of putting it in an odd place for some reason that I obviously felt was logical at the time.  I ended up using a crocheted runner (purchased from Walmart, can't take the credit) and some dogwood from the backyard.  Plus I pulled out two of my china teacups for Grandma and I.

My only extra detail this time- egg candy in a votive holder.

The four friends hanging out after dinner: 

Joshua and his Great-Grandma:

We had some gorgeous weather.  My grandparents came from cold, rainy and sometimes snowy, bare-treed Ontario to nearly full green trees and humid temperatures.  We took full advantage of one of these days and took Joshua to the park.  LOVE this particular park.  Joshua has a blast there.

It cooled down a little by the time we got home, but invigorated by the fresh air and sunshine, John brought our patio chairs out to the front yard (so Grandpa didn't have to attempt the steep back steps with his arthritic knees) and we spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying it further.

Later in the week-- boys being boys.  Grandpa gave Joshua an electric train set that he had purchased well over 15 years ago for Derek and Mark to amuse them while whenever we were visiting.  He was a little concerned about Joshua being to young, since one drop and the separate trains, especially the engine, will never work again-- but laid the rules down and Joshua followed them (mostly) to the letter.  

They had some trouble getting the train to go all the way around the track, so Joshua thought he'd try and figure it out. ;-)

Got a cheesy grin out of the both of them:

I wasn't very good about taking pictures- seemed like we were always busy talking or watching Matlock or driving out in the country, out for lunch or coffee....but I captured a few memories, and the rest are cherished in my heart.  I love my grandparents so much and am so grateful Joshua has this time to get to know them.

Paper and Glue

A 2-pack of washable glue for 99 cents and a stack of construction paper can turn into an exciting afternoon of adventure and discovery.  Especially when you're 3 years old.

Joshua loves little projects like this and I love helping him with them...but I'm not so good with the coming-up-with-crafty-ideas part.  

It was his first time 'learning' how to use glue.  He was pretty excited.  Scissors, next...he hopes.  

Rainy Days

We build a blanket fort.

We crawl in and out and in and out.

There's always time to pose for the camera.

Then we crawl back in and snuggle up inside...

...with all the essentials: flashlight, a train, a cookie, and a comfy bean bag chair.

Sweet childhood.

Have I ever said how much I love being a mom?