Moving In.

On June 9th we moved into our new apartment.  When our house first sold, we talked of relocating.  We still might.  But the time wasn't right and as we got closer and closer to moving day, it became obvious it wasn't going to happen this year.  After checking into the outrageous cost of renting a two-bedroom apartment in this area, still close to John's work, we thought it might be cheaper to buy.  For a short time, we considered buying again, but our life was still up in the air as far as where I would feel better and where we will live long-term down the road, and our sanity eventually brought us back to the rental option.  We talked about a 6-month lease so we  could continue to pursue other options, but in our hearts, we both felt that God was saying a year.

The thought of living in an apartment after owning a house was a bit of a downer.  Mainly yard space and freedom of creativity.  But we ended up with a lovely 2 bedroom apartment in a mostly (for an apartment and even for this area in general) quiet, out of the way location, lots of trees and common grass areas, a pool and playground, and my favourite: a balcony.  The complex is only 2 stories all around, so it is not too high up and the sliding glass doors let in floods of sunlight.  That wee bit of outdoor space to call our own makes the difference between a prison and a retreat.  We quite like it here, actually.

I got hit with a flu-bug within days of moving.  I haven't been that sick in years.  It was topped up yesterday with my first earache since toddler-hood.  But other than that, my pain is already subsiding.  I get up in the mornings without stiffness and debilitating joint pain.  And my feet aren't swelling up as quickly when I'm standing.  Not bad for a few days away.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Living with this pain has become such a way of life for me, I almost forget what it's like to be "normal."  This mental adaption has been a blessing in the last year when I've been at my worse, but a bit discouraging, too.  Of course, I want to get better!  Desperately.  But I feel my drive has weakened-- not to a point of apathy, but a state of...perhaps resignation.  Less of a craving.  It's hard to look forward to something that you can't really remember.  I mean, what will it be like to cook without taking multiple breaks or sitting in a chair while I work?  And to cook more than one fast meal a day?  What will it be like to sit on the floor and play games with Joshua?  To go for long walks with my family?  All the simple things I used to take for granted, now it's almost overwhelming.  It's a life my brain can't comprehend.  I know, what a twisted mentality!  I'm sure it will wear off as I begin making steps towards wholeness.  If my pain was constant, I'm sure I'd feel differently, but when I'm sitting in a chair, where I've learned to live most of my life from, I can be symptom-free 90% of the time, other than painful, aching joints on humid days.  I've just...adapted.  To this.

It takes so much focus and concentration to be me, to move, to walk, to get up from a chair, pick something off the floor-- there is no aspect of my life that isn't affected-- that I feel like to NOT have to think and to just DO, it seems like a crazy thing.  A notion I'll quickly get over, no doubt.

I'm almost afraid to post these crazy thoughts.  I know they can't make much sense.  I guess it's the same as an able-bodied person trying to imagine life with PGP/SPD.

The unpacking is going slowly, of course.  Every day that we're here, I'm able to do a little more, but that's still not much.  When we're done, I'll post some pictures.  In the meantime, I may come back with more words. :-)

Hello. Good bye.

My life right now:  Downsizing.  Power Packing.  Paperwork.  Happiness.

It's been a long couple of weeks, full of ups and downs, first more stressed than I think I have ever been at one time, and then the satisfied contentment of knowing where I'm supposed to be for today...or more technically, for the next year.  We signed a lease for an apartment about a half hour from here.

That's a really long story cut short.

So hello and good-bye.  My last post from our little row home in the 'burbs.

On Big Decision In Vague And Uncertain Terms

There are a dozen things I planned to write, but didn't.  I have a folder of pictures I planned to post, but no, I didn't do that either.  First we were busy, then I was sick, now we're busy again.  We are making big, potentially life-changing decisions around here.

Oh, and we also sold our house.  That kept us on our toes for a while because the inspection, etc. didn't move along as quickly as it could have.  Now that things are firmed up and I wasted a week being sick, and Joshua before that, we have about 30 days to do a lot more than 30 days worth of stuff.  Most of us have been there before.  We'll make it through, just like everyone always does.  In the meantime, we don't eat at our table because there are boxes covering it, and all the chairs besides, where they are at an easy place for me to access without having to bend or lift; we are sorting and organizing for a future that is still uncertain as far as when and where and how we will move; the rest of the house is neglected in the meantime and I wouldn't let you through the front door unless I was quite certain you loved me for me and not the way I keep my home; and every. single. second of the next month is overbooked.  We also need to find a new car before the end of June.  A "little" thing like that can really throw one's life off-course when it happens at inconvenient times such as this.

So that's why I'm STILL not blogging.  I'll try and make it back once or twice over the days to come, but I don't suppose I'll *really* be back until we're in our new dwelling.  Wherever that is.

My Little Fisherman...And Other Faces From The Day

Today's fishing trip was inspired by one of Joshua's favourite books, "The Little Fish That Got Away," by Bernadine Cook.  "We need to dig up some worms and get a basket for the fish we're going to eat after we catch them," he said.  For weeks, he has been asking us to find a place where he can fish.  One of our neighbors has a bunch of fishing slogans and fish decals on the back of his pick-up truck, so John asked him if he knew of a good place to take a four-year-old.  He recommended what turned out be little more than a pond that supposedly has small fish.  We didn't catch anything to prove it, but that could be the fake bait we used because Walmart was fresh out of wormies.  We're going back tomorrow morning with fresh-from-the-garden worms and we're hoping that the fish are hungry for breakfast.  Catch or not, Joshua loved fishing and I think we'll be doing a lot of it over the next few months.

He tried sitting like the boy in the book.  He also tried lying down to take a nap (I can't remember if that part was from the book, too), but in the end he decided that he'd do a thing or two like Joshua G, and that meant standing, squirming, walking about and reeling in the line faster than a fish could possibly chomp on the hook (until we explained the necessity of patience).

Learning to cast.

Project #3: Make A Wreath For the Door {March}

This is the first time I've tried to make a wreath.  I had no idea what I was doing.  I suspect it's tacky, but I stared at it for so long, wiring and gluing and snipping, that I can't be sure whether it turned out or not.  Maybe in a few days I will gain perspective and be able to tell how successful I was...or wasn't.  Either way, it's not the last time I'll make one, because I found it quite enjoyable.

( Fourteen hours later: The word "hideous" comes to mind!!  Must find a how-to guide. =P )

Project #2: Cross-Stitch {February}

Still in the making....

Project #1: Make My Own Notebooks {January}

Ironically, this was NOT a Pinterest-inspired project after all my browsing and filing away of homemade goodies, but I found the idea for these notebooks here several years ago.  Stamping the pages was my favourite little detail, and I've since been stamping everything made of paper, including shopping and to-do lists.  It's just so fun.  I know, serious thrill issues here.  I can admit it.

The page dividers before I assembled the first notebook:

Notebook #1 (also happens to be my favourite):

I only stamped every third page in this one, and I used the same "Life Is Good" stamp in each one.  FYI the stamps came from Michael's for a dollar a piece.

Notebook #2:

I sent them to my mom, but I think I'm going to have to make a few more, because they are simply lovely.  And thanks to the binder rings, they are refillable.